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Online IT Solution, Online Programmer, Introduction to VB.NET

This is one of the best explanations of why God allows pain and suffering that I have seen...


A man went to a barbershop to have his hair cut and his beard trimmed.
As the barber began to work, they began to have a good conversation.
They talked about so many things and various subjects.
When they eventually touched on the subject of God, the barber said:
"I don't believe that God exists."

"Why do you say that?" asked the customer. "Well, you just have to go out in the street to realize that God doesn't exist.
Tell me, if God exists, would there be so many sick people?
Would there be abandoned children?

If God existed, there would be neither suffering nor pain.
I can't imagine a loving God who would allow all of these things."
The customer thought for a moment, but didn't respond because he didn't want to start an argument.
The barber finished his job and the customer left the shop.

Just after he left the barbershop, he saw a man in the street with long, stringy, dirty hair and an untrimmed beard.
He looked dirty and unkempt. The customer turned back and entered the barber shop again and he said to the barber:
"You know what? Barbers do not exist."
"How can you say that?" asked the surprised barber.
"I am here, and I am a barber. And I just worked on you!"
"No!" the customer exclaimed. "Barbers don't exist because
If they did, there would be no people with dirty long hair and untrimmed beards, like that man outside."

"Ah, but barbers DO exist! That's what happens when people do not come to me."
"Exactly!" affirmed the customer. "That's the point! God, too, DOES exist!
That's what happens when people do not go to Him and don't look to Him for help.
That's why there's so much pain and suffering in the world."

Stoty I


Employer : Do you have a boyfriend?
Candidate: I have.
Employer: Is he working locally?
Candidate: No. He is workin overseas
Employer: Sorry, my company cannot employ you!
Candidate: Why?
Employer: You will not be able to settle down here permanently. And my company doesn’t want to pay extra expenses on the overseas calls just because of you.

Story II

Employer: Any girl friends?
Candidate: No.
Employer: So far chased any before?
Candidate: Have, but not successful.
Employer: Ever think of getting a job first then start looking for a girlfriend?
Candidate: Career is first priority. Currently didn't want to consider this personal issue.
Employer: Sorry, my company cannot employ you.
Candidate: Why?
Employer: You are lacking of public relation skills and confidence!!

Story III

Employer: Any girlfriends?
Candidate: Yes.
Employer: Is she pretty?
Candidate: Not quite.
Employer: Sorry, my company cannot employ you.
Candidate: Why? Will this affect your company's reputation?
Employer: No, it does not affect the company's reputation but because my company is dealing with arts, our company requested an artist

Story IV

Employer: Any girlfriends?
Candidate: Yes.
Employer: Is she pretty?
Candidate: yes
Employer: Is she your first lover?
Candidate: Yes.
Employer: Sorry, we can't employ you because you lack of fighting spirit.

Story V

Employer: Any girlfriends?
Candidate: Yes.
Employer: Is she your first lover?
Candidate: No. Have a few already.
Employer: Sorry, my company cannot employ you because you are a "grasshopper"! (Job hoper!)

Story VI

Employer: Any boyfriends?
Candidate: Yes.
Employer: Is he rich?
Candidate: No.
Employer: Then sorry, my company cannot employ you because our Company is dealing with money and you will seduce.

Story VII

Employer: Any boyfriends?
Candidate: Yes.
Employer: Is he rich?
Candidate: Yes, very rich. He owns a company.
Employer: Sorry, we cannot employ you because your boyfriend don't even want to employ you, neither do we!
Candidate: But, there is no position in his company.
Employer: Then, what is your qualification?
Candidate: Secretary!
Employer: Sorry, we still cannot employ you because your prettiness will affect your managers' working spirits.
Candidate: But, I am not pretty at all.
Employer: It is even worse because my managers will not be interested in you!

Womens talk and Mens Talk

TWO WOMEN TALKING

Woman 1: Oh! You got a haircut! That's so cute!
Woman 2: Do you think so? I wasn't sure when she gave me the mirror. I mean, you don't think it's too fluffy looking?

Woman 1: No, it's perfect. I'd love to get my hair cut like that, but I think my face is too wide. I'm Pretty much stuck with this stuff I think.
Woman 2: Are you serious? I think your face is adorable. And you could easily get one of those layer cuts - that would look so cute I think. I was actually going to do that except that I was afraid it wouldaccent my long neck.

Woman 1: Oh - that's funny! I would love to have your neck! Anything to take attention away from these football player shoulders of mine.
Woman 2: Are you kidding? I know girls that would love to have your shoulders. Everything drapes so well on you. I mean, look at my arms, see how short they are? If I had your shoulders I could get clothes to fit me so much easier.

NOW TWO MEN TALKING

Man 1: Haircut?
Man 2: Yeah.

Million Dollars in a Second


Million Dollars in a Second

A man was praying to god.

He said, "God?"
God responded, "Yes?"

Man said, "Can I ask a question?"
"Go right ahead", God said.

"God, what is a million years to you?"
God said, "A million years to me is only a second."

The manwondered.

Then he asked, "God, what is a million dollars worth to
you?"

God said, "A million dollars to me is a penny."

So the man said,

"God can I have a penny?"
God cheerfully said, "Sure!....... just a second."

Its Fun Time


Stupid Questions?


1. At a restaurant: When you ask the waiter
Stupid Question:-
Is! the "Butter Paneer Masala" dish good??
Answer:-
No, its terrible and made of adulterated cement.


2. When a friend announces

her wedding, and you ask...
Stupid Question:-
Is the guy you're marrying good?
Answer:-
No,he's a miserable wife-beating , insensitive lout...it's just the
money.




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3. When you get

woken up at midnight by a phone call...
Stupid Question:-
Sorry. were you sleeping?
Answer:-
No. I was doing research on whether the Zulu tribes in Africa eat
pineapple or not. You bet I was sleeping....you dumb witted moron.



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4. When you see a

friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair...
Stupid Question:-
Hey have you had a haircut?
Answer:-
No, its autumn and I'm shedding......



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5. At the dentist when he's

sticking pointed objects in your mouth...
Stupid Question:-
Tell me if it hurts?
Answer:-
No it wont. It will just bleed.



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6. You are smoking a

cigarette and a friend asks...
Stupid Question:-
Oh, so you smoke.
Answer:-
Gosh, it's a miracle .......it was a piece of chalk and now it's in
flames!!!



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7. At the movies: When you

meet acquaintances/friends...
Stupid Question:-
Hey, what are you doing here?
Answer:-
Dont u know, I sell tickets in black over here..

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An elephant has 5 bananas and it is hungry, but yet it does not eat the bananas. Why?








Because the bananas are made of plastic.


Next…Q
The 5 bananas are real , but yet the elephant does not eat it. Why?







Because the elephant is made of plastic.

Hahhaa…never give up…

one more..

Now,Both the elephant and the bananas are real, but yet it cannot eat it. Why?








Because the bananas are in the TV.Ooops!!!
Cool down…


Both the elephant and the bananas are real and in the TV, but yet it cannot eat it. Why?










Because they are on different channels.
Hohohohoohohoh. .hehehe



Both the elephant and the bananas are real and in the TV and on the same channel, but yet it cannot eat it. Why?









Cmon think







Because the TV is off.
Kikikikikiki..


Now Finally the Elephant gets a chance to eat the bananas.Why?













Itna kyun soch rahe ho yaar..Kya bigada hain usne aapka.........

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Three friends die and go to heaven. The first guy gets handcuffed to one of the ugliest girls there.
''Why?'' he asks.

St. Paul replies, ''When you were nine you killed a bird with a stone.'

The same happens to the second guy. He asks why.

St. Paul replies, ''When you were nine you killed a bird with a stone.''

The third guy laughs at his friends and says, ''
Thank God I didn't do anything like that.''
He gets handcuffed to the prettiest girl in heaven.
The other two guys ask, ''Why?''
''Because when she was nine she killed a bird with a stone.''

Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is a Wife.

Women Vs. Men

  • If a girl laughs, she is a jolly fellow.
    If a man laughs, he is manner less.

  • If a girl talks too much, she is witty.
    If a man talks too much, he is a chatterbox.

  • If a girl loves silence, she is serious.
    If a man loves silence, he is dull.

  • If a girl wears a unique dress, she is smart.
    If a man does so, he is a joker.

  • If a girl eats too much, she is promoting.
    If a man eats too much, he is a glutton.

  • If girls move together, they form a company.
    If men move together, they form a gang.

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